Wednesday, February 17, 2010'♥
complains
i never wanted to write unhappy things here again. but there cannot be NO unhappy things which gets to me.
cny n vday was disastrous. horrible. and tortorous.
cous left crying during reunion dinner. and i ended up tearing myself. thks to my closest kin.
i was threatened to go home. that was understandable. but nevertheless, super angry at the way it was done. i only slept 3 hours that night because i wanted to make sure i could sleep when i got home.
so the whole 8am to 11pm was endurance for my body system.
my dress zip spoilt and i couldn't wear the dress i wanted for the first day.
my fake eyelash didn't look nice. mum scolded me for spending too much time making up.
as it was, i had absolutely nothing to look forward to on cny. and i harboured little hopes that HE would have something to surprise me with on vday.
i hate being right for that.
i have been so unhappy with the upcoming cny, complaining everyday, crying quite a few times, but still, no surprise on vday to cheer me up.
i could have been more disappointed. except that i expected it. EXPECTED IT.
i really don't know is it me who is the failure or you.
what did i do to expect such treatment?
am i not good enough to deserve to be pampered on a special day?
not even a stalk of rose.
i had nothing to look forward to. and you gave me nothing to look forward to. i was still harbouring slight hopes that you'd present me with flowers somehow. but we ended up quarrelling instead over cny.
last vday was not very good. this year was worse.
the first one to make me feel like giving up on vday. no in fact, i should know never to expect anything from you anymore for the rest of the vdays.
i can't be any more upset with your reason n excuse.
after almost 2 years, can you read my emotions and expectations from you? i don't think so. not even with hints. and it doesn't count anymore when i tell you straight exactly what i want.
but what can i do?
give u a black face. be upset. lose my temper with u. and have you lose your temper back at me. that's what i get.
losing patience and temper is not a good thing. and i hate doing it.
i dislike myself.
i really don't know what i've done to deserve this. or not to deserve something.
