Monday, June 28, 2010'♥
spoilt
i cannot express how dissppointed i am
with you..and i know tt telling u how i feel again wont work, cox if it does, you would have changed long ago..im tired of always trying le..i just wana stop now n walk backwards.. i dun understand why u told me to start afresh at the place we started when u dont even mean it..u really just cant be bothered abt how i feel..you tainted my holiday, our holiday with internets n phones n not being sensitive towards me..halfway through the trip i really wish i wasnt there at all..altho i did say u cn smoke overseas, you smoked like nobody's biz not bothering whether i like or not..every morn the phone would ring disruptinh my sleep..everynight u would b looking at yr phone or the labtop instead of at me..smths when walking u would b in front or w yr family mbrs while i walk alone..u left me alone in the rm for almost an hr just to find hotel, when i did warn u not to wait till last min..on the 1st day my stomach was aching, n u din even notice until i told u..so if this holiday was about u ur family n abt yourself, i duno why i was dere..it was just testing my patiencd throughout..n if nt for yr mum i would have lashed out right there n den oredi..i duno wad to say abt u anymore..ur actions or the lack of, has already shown me u dun mean wad u say at all..again, u promised me smth bt failed to see it through..i wonder how much more i cn endure..
Sunday, June 20, 2010'♥
sigh
some ppl ar..still say he's also gan chiong..make promises..don't mean to make mistakes..but in the end, words are just empty..even if i can stop smoking, so what? someone only know how to boast that he also can, bt still puff away like nobody's business..i say he don't have sincerity, nv buy us a couple ring..2 years le..his fingers ar, only ever wore his wedding ring lor..i hate men who make empty promises..n i feel so pathetic feeling sorry for myself over a man who lacks sincerity, esp when i know there are other men who would b more than happy to please me..i really wonder if i am the idiot or he is..
Monday, June 14, 2010'♥
...
i feel dirty n disgusted...really thinking how to feel normal..dont know how to maintain my trust anymore..feeling so scared n confused...
'♥
a day off
woohoo~ glad i gave myself a day off from work. working everyday is so tiring! can't imagine how i'd be able to tolerate work in 6 months time. =s waking up without worrying about what time it is.. taking my own time to buy my breakfast.. watching dvd the whole day.. bwahaha~
and i forgot to add in the previous post that darling FINALLY got me flowers on our anniversary..hahaha..
and i'm glad he didn't order from his 'usual' shop, expressflowers.com. *roll eyes*
like finally. he listened to me.
i love love love flowers from far east flora! they don't use the common purple n green accompaniment flowers. and they wrap the bouquet up so pretty! i like!!
and importantly, it was named Circle of Love. the outer ring compromised of red roses, the inner ring was pink tulips and a single stalk of white rose stood in the middle.
even if i didn't look up the meaning at the website, i can guess =D the white rose stands for purity and the 2 circles are there to protect it.
pink tulips n red roses, couldn't think of a better combination. =))
plus a little message from him to me. to tell me i was special. wish he'd say it more often tho. hahaha!
thank you my love! how sweet....=)
______
on another note.
i wonder why he's not anxious to put a ring around my finger.
i've been pestering for just a couple ring, some symbolization that we're a pair.
but seems like it's only me. sometimes i don't think i know what he's thinking at all.
in cases like this, i wonder if he's even sincere about being with me..hmm..
and then there was the sub-promise he made to quit smoking by end of last yr..well of cox i knew it'll be impossible for him.. so i let him drag..
and drag...
until he openly declared on fb he would quit..
but like i had said, wait n see lor...........
so still waiting lor....................
i just hate it when i'm right.
just hope i'm not right about the ring.
but *shrug*
if i'm really right, and he's not eager to use something to 'officially' tie me down, why should i bother?
he was right, why should i b so inconfident?
vic chia used to hold so much confidence, she never feared her man wouldn't want her.
i am going to become that woman again.
*nods firmly*
just you wait and see.
Friday, June 11, 2010'♥
a pile of celebrations
im at work nw..bt im gg to attempt to do this from my iphone! bwahaha..
had quite a few celebrations tis 2 weeks..
on the 29th, had dinner w parents first to mark my 22nd bday.. i did say i wanted to eat w em on my bday..bt they wantd it earlier instead..it was at momoyo, some jap restuarant serving sub-std ala-carte buffet..i still lik ichiban boshi best!!
on the 30th we finally reached our 2 yr mark..supposed to haf celebrated in bkk..bt we made do with a simple yet extremely delicious meal at miss u cafe! we both enjoyed it =) i especially liked their promotion wine..it had a tinge of spice, yet filled my mouth w sweetness..;)
on my bday itself we went to watch prince of persia n had steamboat at hm..again, it was supposed to b in bkk..bt nevertheless the show was fantastic! n it was a warm cozy dinner gathering..
darling had also ordered cake from choc-a-bloc..a suppsedly famous suburban cake shop..bt i feel damn fat aft eatg their cake..very rich!! omg omg..
in the same week, on sunday, i had a mini celebration with my other family members..and they cooked loads of food! i literally din noe where to start first..n most imptantly, each pair of aunt n uncle gave me $50 ang bao! i wasnt expecting them to bao so much de lor..maybe only like $20, like during cny..so when i went hm n opened my ang baos i was really touched..='(
the following week, 7th i met my dearies for dinner! we had tcc! n even tho it wasnt deliberately planned, bt frances managed to show up! quite happy actually cox its always so hard to match her timing..well, they made me super paiseh by telling everyone i was the bday girl who wanted to take away the free slice of cake rcc offered me!! i wanted to dig a hole n bury my face..>.<
haha..after dinner we went to watch marmaduke! a short n funny doggie show..hehe..thanks my loves for such a throw-face dinner..=D u noe i love u all much much eh..lol
shortly after 9th arrived, meaning another dinner for my dad's bday! both he n my mum r 50 lo!!! i bet they feel super old..teeheehee..we had bakerzin..and i unashamedly told them it's my dad's bday, knowing they would also offer smth..n damn right..i got a free warm chocolate cake!! the one with the melted choc in the middle.. n which i jux had at tcc two days earlier..~.~
fat fat fat...........
ok tts all. any more. i tink i'd turn into a real couch potato..=x
anyway..to my sweetheart:
im really sorry for all the tantrums u had to endure to make it here..and even tho im really quite angry sometimes..i nv stop reminding myself why we fell in love in the first place..
so for our 2 years..even tho it was quiet..to me it is the perfect symbolization..we got together despite protests..we were strangers who fell in love..in our world there were only the 2 of us..and so just having a quiet meal w u is enough for me to enjoy your company..you r someone whom i can be whoever i want with..the only one whom makes me feel like going home to..
i love u sweetheart..*muacks*
Biography.
Ria ♥