Monday, October 18, 2010'♥
baby's 2 years
it feels like just yesterday i brought him home.
the tiny little thing that couldn't run properly, he had to jump. his hair sticking up, but still like a cute little ball of nothing.
he amused everyone in the house, including the little kids who were terrified of dogs.
with his quiet temperament, he soon won them over. and he made new friends out of them.
every morning, i would wake up to a wet nose sniffing at me, or a wet tongue trying to get my attention.
he would wait for me to wake, before cuddling beside me.
i still remember how challenging it was to get the puppy him to learn how to pee on the newspaper. forbidding him from chewing on the furniture, or on his masters' shoes. making sure he didn't pick up the habit of biting people when teething.
and at 2 years, i am still battling where he chooses to place his shit, and making sure he understands not to take out his anger on our shoes, for leaving him at home. more recently, trying to coax him into eating his dry food. for he would not eat, unless given biscuit with it.
he used to hurl out vomit in the mornings, when i didn't wake early enough to let him out to eat. so angry it made me, for puking all over my room floor. one spot after another.
despite these little shortcomings, my darling boy never fails to make me smile, or go goo-goo over his furry little face.
even when he's botak n looks like a bulldog, with a wrinkly forehead.
he's obedient to me, and me only. i call, he comes. he knows when his mummy wants to cuddle him, or have him kiss her.
he's learnt numerous tricks in a short span of time. and i'm proud of my boy. sit, paw, high 5, sleep, roll over, stand, stay. motions that we go through everyday before he gets to eat.
he's always there behind the door when his masters' come back. sniffing, smelling. then jumping around in circles when we come in. and like a toddle, he would stand on his hind, to let us lift him up to hug him, and to smother us with licks. he missed us.
during bath time, i would take one with him, and he'll sit in a corner while waiting for me to be done, and it's his turn.
he would sit still while the water washed over him, look up at me, or rest his head against my knee while i washed his face. occassionally shaking out the water, and splashing soap all over me, or ah choo-ing the water out of his nose.
he looks funny when he's all wet, and his hair is plastered on him.
he loves the hair drying part. and then goes crazy after he's all clean. sprinting up and down the house like he's on high.
he would sometimes look at us while we are eating, and lick his lips. sitting there, staring at us, and licking his lips.
or when he's cooped up in the room, he would look at me, head for the door, and look at me again. or in the case of thirst/ hunger/ he would lick his lips and swallow.
he would perk up at the sound of ice jingling, and run for it if thrown one. his face would end up all wet, and reduce me to laughter.
he hardly throws much temper at me. my kind, quiet dog.
i have him to accompany me when i feel lonely. i have him following my steps when i walk up and down the house.
i have a faithful little follower whose loyalty does not ask for reciprocation.
he's a small, but very heavy little bundle of joy i have to see everyday.
to feel his warm body right when i wake up, and to see his welcome at the end of the day.
his knowledgeable black eyes, looking, understanding. loving.
i picked the right one that day. the only one that i played with first, and felt right at that very moment.
it was my sweetheart whom made it possible for me to bring home my personal bundle of joy.
always my darling little boy.
happy 2 years! =)))
Sunday, October 17, 2010'♥
Disaster Night
Corina was right not to go last night, i think it was a total disaster at the end.
we were having so much fun, until the first bruise marked the start of more chaos to come.
well, the bruise was my fault, i didn't notice the step and stumbled over it. now my shin and knee has a big patch of blue black.
then i wanted to be nice by accompanying some of them at the dance floor, but got stepped on by one of them instead.
later another fella accidentally gav me another one on the same foot.
to top it up, dear got drunk, and concussed before the night ended.
so started all my anger and worrying, and anxiety. i was about to go hysteric with everything.
two guys had to carry him out of movida, and got him into the cab. then when he was sprawled out in the cab, the clearer-headed guy pronounced he was driving.
so expected wad, me to go back alone with him?! and jessie had to keep saying 'i need to get him back, one of u has to go'. over n over again.
and i don't know what that guy (A) was thinking, he just didn't think who was going to go with me in the cab, or that HE DROVE, meaning, he could actually have sent us back. but no, he just one-mindedly got dear into the cab, and left it at that.
i was trying to make sense of the situation (i didn't know he drove), backing up jessie's words, and telling the furious cab uncle sorry.
until i demanded A to send us back, and get the drunk one the hell out of the cab.
the other guy, B. was half drunk. acting like he was not. so he was also in between soberness, trying to act like he's as macho as A, and saying "oh shit" when he remembered there's someone more drunk than him.
and A had to go get the car, so that left B to carry dear out of the cab. and i was shouting and going crazy, trying to make sure B didn't knock his head or let it smash against the pavement.
totally fucked up.
the same thing happened when we arrived at our house downstairs.
A wasn't SUPER helpful, and B was STILL trying to act macho.
he ended up DRAGGING dear out from the back seat n onto the pavement.
and again i was trying not to let his head go piak, or his hands winding up out of it's sockets.
B then TRIED to fireman lift him. which got me sooooooooooooooooooooo, exasperated.
i just stood there and watched the two monkeys.
B trying to get dear on his shoulders, and A standing on the other side of dear, laughing at B.
i wanted to smack someone.
and when we finally reached home, baby got so scared, he thought it was intruders. and he was half growling/barking at us.
so i was again, desperately, trying not to let B twist dear's arm or break his neck, and trying to pacify my dog, and shushing them all not to make noise.
they ended up smashing into the side of the deity table, and dear's face still went smack against the floor, thanks to B.
i wanted to smack my face right there and then.
so ultimately, dear was left sprawled on the floor, and i shoo-ed them all out.
thanks, but seriously no thanks for all the troubles.
that's not all.
dear totally did not respond to me at all.
i wanted to take out his contact lens, wash him up n get him onto the bed. but totally no help there. he even pushed me away. refused to let me open his eyes.
THAN.
he started bubbling out some vomit/saliva/i duno what shit, bit by fucking disgusting bit.
i sat there and stared at him.
couldn't believe it.
after awhile, i went to put a towel under his head, and proceeded to splash water on him THRICE.
he just bubbled out the shit somemore.
FML there n then.
my purpose of wanting to get him into the room, was to avoid his dad, who would make noise if he saw him like that.
i was injured, tired, and exasperated.
my dog was unsettled. sat at a distance away n kept staring at us.
i just sat there, surrendered and feeling sorry for myself.
THIRD time i had to deal with his shit.
FIRST time i got myself so worried and anxious.
so, i started crying. and THANK GOD boon picked up my call at 5am in the morning.
i was crying, and angry, and scolding, and crying.
but i did feel better after spilling.
and his dad came home not long later.
my cue to wash up n turn in.
i couldn't give a rat's ass about the drunk man anymore.
why do i have to make myself worried like hell about an adult who can't be bothered to take care of himself.
totally disappointed.
utterly upset.
so my sunday, gone just like that.
for a grown man of 28 years. you have no self-control nor limits.
u left your girlfriend trying to protect you, instead of the other way round. AGAIN.
thanks alot. seriously. i didn't deserve that shit u put me through.
totally disappointed.
utterly upset.
i won't forget. and i'm not going to forgive you anytime soon.
NEVER. going clubbing with you again.
i thought i could trust you WITH ME. but you can't even take care of yourself.
wonderful.
really.
Friday, October 15, 2010'♥
i suddenly remembered
i have something called a blog! =D
i shall babble.
starting from wishing my laopo a belated birthday here!
happy birthday~~~~~~ glad u liked your presents. ^.^
*muacks*
________
it is exams period, but i'm still not motivated!! just going through with the motions, thinking that it is the last sem.
not putting in tons of effort though. =s
________
i wana #$%(&$%&(^@$(#^T*%^ - spew all the vulgarities i know. but knowing myself, my vulgar vocab is limited. i'll just end up feeling i haven't scolded enough.
i hate. absolutely. totally. drastically. magnitude. hate. that fucking slut of a whore.
i hate her with every being in my body, every vein, every vessel, every ounce of blood and brain matter.
i want to put my hands around her neck, and feel the satisfaction of wringing it, looking at her slut face as she choke and beg for mercy. looking at her smugness fade as she struggles for air, while i dare her to provoke me again. and i squeeze with every bit of energy i have. her face turning blue, the light draining from her teary eyes. i would have the last say.
yes i would soooooooooo love to that.
but i love my life too much. she's not worth it.
anger aside.
i am but a meek woman he can only curse her under my breath, complain to my friends, and write about it.
that's about ALL the power i have.
my useless boyfriend cannot anger her.
i cannot talk back in defense of myself.
i. feel. soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo wei qu.
if only u have any idea of how wei qu i feel whenever something reminds me of her.
direct translation: i eat so big, i have NEVER had to swollow such insult, without biting back.
N.E.V.E.R.
and here SHE is, fucking me right in the face, and i have to bite my tongue, and smile to her instead.
so let me declare, that anything, ANYTHING, that reminds me of her, i will NOT hesitate to bite at u.
bcox YOU, you married that bitch of an ex-wife, and had me putting up with her cockshit for 2.5 fucking years, and i still have to continue tolerating her!
i hate her guts. i hate her arrogance. i hate her fucking attitude. i hate her cock-and-bull shits. i hate you for marrying her.
i hate her very existence.
if i was a vampire, i'd not blink and drain her dry right away.
just cox i could get away with it.
no actually, i don't even want her blood in my body. i'd just snap her neck like a twig. and let her drop dead.
*evil laugh*
yea. i'm into vampire shows right now. ;)
(now u noe why i'm not studying)
anyway, just so you know mr. tan.
when this is ALL OVER, i am expecting a proposal from you. and i want it declared to all YOUR FRIENDS.
i want it immediately.
i want it pronounced.
i want it known.
i want it right in her fucking face.
i will have the status that i should have had.
i will be the one to walk openly, and proudly.
i will not fucking bow to her shadow anymore.
this 'yuan qi' in me, i will have it seen vented.
SO YOU, go and improve your lousy english please.
your ang moh is the same as that fucking slut's. cannot make it. you TWO talk the same.
and like i said.
do NOT remind me of her.
i DO NOT want to be reminded of her. and how could you talk like her?! fuck man.
don't you find it amusing how, your girlfriend can be so angry at someone she hasn't even met? how that SOMEONE can be so poisonous as to infect your girlfriend with just her very existence?
powerful isn't she?
i hope you know how big a mistake you made LOVING HER.
(oh, i wana puke)
i seriously, cannot say enough of this: your eyes don't know got how many layers of stamp 2.5 years ago.
SERIOUSLY.
u can't protect your girlfriend. and you can't give me what i want NOW. literally, now.
the booklet from Love & Co. has been lying there for at least 8 months now.
i wonder when it'll be able to come out from it's hiding hole, and end up as a pretty ring on my finger.
and YOUR finger.
which should have been mine to claim 2.5 years ago.
i have to wait.
be patient.
suck it in.
ren.
its ok.
cox if i don't get what i want at the end of it all.
i WILL break hell loose.
i have waited long enough.
you hear me?
______
with that temporary out of my system, i have to go back to studying.
i said temporary.
she'll do something again. soon. trust me. she's always making a nuisance out of herself.
and then as always, i'll end up crying.
