Sunday, December 08, 2019'♥
50 shades of fucked up
Never thought i'd need an outlet or to post here again. But this weekend has been so mind boggling i just...cannot.
I cannot fathom why u would do such a thing.
I cannot for the life of me understand how you could think your actions are also justifiable.
I cannot begin to think what the fuck you have been doing in my house with that slut.
I cannot erase that taint you put in my head.
For fuck's sake, you want to fuck, dont fucking taint my house. The same house that i fucking designed and decorated, every single thing there has my signature and my touch. The fucking toilet, the mbr, the same fucking bed, the same fucking sheets that i bought n slept on, my pillow and bolster, the same fucking position that i slept in!!!!! For fuck's sake, do you have any fucking sense and shame at fucking all?!?
My stuffs still occupying the toilet, my clothes still in the wardrobe, memories of me all over the fucking place, and the 2 of you can stay in my fucking house and not give 2 fucks?? What kind of fucking slut wouldn't mind living in another woman's shit? Good luck with that you moron.
How could you so righteously think that you can justify not asking for my agreement before you invited a woman to fucking take over my house. And now i cant get that fucking image out of my head, its going to fucking scar me for life. Regardless divorced or not, you dont have any basic decency to think of your actions and what you subjected me and your son to? Your justification was you wanted to protect her? At the expense of me your and son? That is my fucking house , my fucking bed and my fucking loo? A house that your son is still having trouble trying to de-link as his parents' house, a bed that his mama used to sleep in, he is still sleeping in, and suddenly now its papa's and who-the-fuck-is-that in my bed?! You have no idea how much i physically wanted to throw her and her stuffs out of my fucking house. No amount of dollar compensation is ever going to make up for what you fucking idiots did.
Like i said, if you didnt dare to ask or seek my agreement, deep down you should have known its not right. Lying that you want the respect of privacy, only because you want to sneak her up, thats what it is, its because you had to sneak while having her around. And if you had to sneak, why didnt you just continue sneaking and dont let me discover it you fucking idiot?!?
I have admitted i am a sinner and i cheated, but this is just a whole other level of fucking shameless. Using my fucking loo, my fucking bed, my fucking intimately used sheets pillow n bolster, the same fucking hairdryer you bought for me, the same FLASK i drank from when i was sick and have brought to work. I really cannot. You called me a hyprocite, but looks who's the biggest hypocrite of all.
You let her in my house and taint all over my territory while i am still ghosting the house. The house is not even all yours, you have no fucking brains or what? Dont expect me to forget this or forgive. I have been more than understanding with you, hoping and trying to accomodate thinking i cannot push you more. Thinking you need time to heal. But if that means inviting the slut back to my house without my consent???? That is fucking way beyond limits asshole.
I am so done with you, done sympathising you. Done with the fucking guilt i lived with the past 1.5 years, because you have successfully proven that whenever i feel guilty for having cheated, you equally do something bad . That time when you trapped me in my own house, and now again when you taint my house with that slut.
May both you of shamelessly continue to use my secondhand goods, the things i have drooled on and has my smell. May both of you shamelessly leave your things there as if you could deceivingly think she can replace my stuffs. While I wish for you that she would bring you all the fucking joy you claim she does and while she fucking cries while being fucked in my house, know that you 2 are doing it all in my shadow, in my fucking house, with every single piece of furniture that i put there. As long as i am also paying for that house you piece of shit, its also still my territory. So pay the fucking price.
And don't tell me you're sorry and seek my pity, not when you have also betrayed me this way. I am done being understanding and kind and letting S fit into your schedule. You're just one half hearted excuse of a man.
